Psychological counseling services

Psychological counseling is a professional support service for practitioners who have received systematic professional training and is based on a scientific psychology framework to help clients deal with emotional distress, relationship conflicts, personal growth stucks, and mild psychological disorders. It is neither a treatment method exclusively for "mentally ill patients" nor is it a chicken soup for the soul that rich people spend money to buy for comfort. Clinical data shows that it has a clear intervention effect on more than 80% of general psychological distress and mild to moderate anxiety and depression disorders. For severe mental disorders, it needs to be carried out in conjunction with psychiatric drug treatment. The effect of counseling alone is limited.

The 22-year-old graduate who came to my studio last week sat down with his school bag strap in his hands. The first thing he said was, "Doctor, am I mentally abnormal to come here?" ”Her job search has been hit hard recently. Her parents kept saying, "I'm paying for your college in vain" and she cried for half a month until three in the morning. She even thought that psychological counseling was useful, so she hesitated for half a month before daring to make an appointment. In fact, it is not necessary to seek counseling only if you are "sick enough to be hospitalized". Among the clients I have contacted, there are children who have just entered junior high school and cannot communicate with their parents, couples who have been married for ten years and always quarrel over trivial matters, employees of large factories who have reached the management level but never dare to fight for their rights, and even entrepreneurs who have done very well in their careers but always feel that "I don't deserve these things" - to put it bluntly, as long as you have a knot in your heart that you can't untie, and you are so confused that you have tried to help your friends and family around you to no avail, then you can seek counseling.

When I first entered the industry, I worked on cases with a dynamic-oriented supervisor. I always used to start with my childhood experiences when visiting people. Until I took on the programmer who had been doing 996 for three months in a row. When he came in, he said that he had palpitations and insomnia when he opened the work software recently. He could only sleep two hours a day for a week in a row, and he wanted to relieve his symptoms quickly. At that time, I followed my old habit and talked to him, "When you were a child, did your parents have very high demands on you, and you were always afraid of being scolded if you didn't do well?" ”After chatting twice, the person stopped coming. Later, he asked his colleague to bring me a message, saying, "I just want to have a good sleep first and don't want to talk about my childhood."

That's when I realized that there is no "best consulting school", only the one that best suits your needs. If you always fall into the same pit, such as always encountering a cold and violent partner when you are in love, or you can't help but regret it after confronting your boss, and you can't figure out why you keep repeating the same mistakes, then dynamic-oriented consultation will accompany you to slowly dig out the deep behavioral patterns and solve the problem from the root. ； If you are currently suffering from acute anxiety or depression and cannot live a normal life and want to relieve the symptoms quickly, then CBT cognitive behavioral therapy is more direct and can help you clear up those distorted cognitions in your mind that "I can't do anything well". Coupled with specific behavioral activation exercises, many people can feel the changes after three or four times. ； If you are not very good at expressing your feelings in words, such as those who study art, or have been taught "no crying" since childhood and are used to suppressing emotions, it may be more suitable to try expressive art therapy such as sand table and painting. For many emotions that you cannot express, a small doll placed in the sand table can express them for you. ； There are also those conflicts where the whole family is locked in knots. For example, if a child is rebellious and refuses to go to school, and both husband and wife think it is the other party's problem, it is useless to ask one person for consultation alone. Family systems therapy, where the whole family sits down and talks, can quickly find the stuck point.

Of course, you must have heard many people say, "Psychological counseling is a scam, and talking for hundreds of dollars an hour is of no use." This is not entirely wrong. I have seen too many deceitful practitioners who dare to work with a pheasant certificate worth several hundred yuan. They label you "you have avoidant attachment" and "it's all the family of origin's fault." Talking to you ten times will make you feel like there is something wrong with you, but nothing will change. There are also many people who have wrong expectations for consultation. Last time, I had a visitor who sat down for the first time and asked me, "Can you tell me how to get my cheating husband to change his mind?" ”, I can only tell her truthfully that I can't give you this answer - consultation is never to give you specific life ideas, let alone to help you deal with others. Its function is to help you wipe away the layer of fog blocking your eyes, so that you can see clearly what you really want, how much room for choice you have, and it is always you who makes the final decision. I had a visitor before. When I came here, I was debating whether to quit my job that others saw as a sure-fire job and become an illustrator. After four conversations, she made up her mind and said, "I was always afraid of regretting quitting my job before. In fact, I just dare not admit it. I don't want to be an accountant for the rest of my life. The money I have saved is enough for me to last for a year. Even if I can't draw, I will admit it." You see, the answer lies with her. I just accompany her to slowly push away the distracting thoughts of "what others say" and "what to do if I fail" that block the answer.

In fact, there are not that many twists and turns in choosing a counselor. Those whose profiles say "cures depression and anxiety" and "solves emotional problems in one go" are just a direct pass. Regular counselors will not boast that they are omnipotent. You can first check his training background, whether he has at least 2 years of systematic training experience such as Sino-German Class, CAPA, and registration system. It is much more reliable than those messy "International Psychological Counselor" certificates. What's more important is how you feel after the first chat. If you say anything you are afraid of being judged by him, for example, if you say you want a Dink and he will say "you will regret it when you get old", or if you say you are secretly jealous of your best friend and he will say "why are you so petty", then no matter how famous he is, don't go there again. In a good counseling relationship, you will feel that no matter how unbearable or unspeakable your thoughts are, you can feel free to say them out.

I have been in this business for 7 years, and I have seen so many people come in with swollen eyes and say they can’t stand it any longer. When they leave, they smile and say, “Oh, so I can choose this way too.” To be honest, it is never a magical thing. Just when you fall down while walking on the road and can't get up from the pain, the people next to you will either urge you to go faster or say why you are so careless. Only the consultant will squat down and accompany you to see what you tripped over, and then accompany you to stand up slowly. It's that simple.