Popular science on mental health in the workplace

The core of maintaining mental health in the workplace is never to force oneself to "quit emotions" or "improve stress resistance", but to establish clear "emotional boundaries" and learn to separate "evaluation of work events" from "judgment of self-worth" - this is the underlying logic that has been verified by decades of research in the fields of clinical psychology and organizational behavior and is adapted to the vast majority of workplace people.

Last week, I received a consultation from a girl who works in the operation department of a large factory. She finished revising the eighth version of the plan at three o'clock in the morning. The leader said lightly, "Let's use the first version." She squatted in the company's fire escape and cried for 20 minutes. She did not dare to speak out for fear of being seen by colleagues passing by. After crying, her first reaction was to scold herself, "Why is it so useless? I can't handle such a small thing."

Have you ever had a similar moment? After being scolded by a client, I secretly emo when I go home, I get a B in my performance, and I feel like I'm going to be eliminated. Even when a colleague casually says, "You're not doing well today," I have to mentally review it three times to see if I did something wrong.

I worked as an EAP (employee assistance program) consultant in an Internet company for three years. I met too many people who were trapped in this kind of emotion. People generally have a misunderstanding: they think that mental health in the workplace means "always being positive, not angry, and not breaking down." If you can't do this, you have poor ability to withstand stress.

There is actually quite a difference in the views of psychology practitioners with different orientations on this point: Researchers from the school of positive psychology will suggest that you regard setbacks as opportunities for growth and try to find positive value from negative events.； However, most psychoanalytic counselors will feel that there is no need to force yourself to be "gratitude hurt". If you are unhappy, you are unhappy. Allowing the emotions to flow first is much more useful than rigidly concocting a positive personality.

Both statements are correct, but essentially they both ask you to stop competing with yourself. I once met a big brother who has been in To B sales for ten years. The customer pointed at me and scolded him for half an hour for the poor plan. He turned around and went downstairs to buy a cup of iced American style with double milk cap. He said to me, "He was scolding the plan I got today, not me as a person. If I was angry all afternoon because of this, how could I accompany my daughter to the aquarium in the evening?" 」

You see, this is the simplest "emotional boundary" - it is equivalent to installing a screen window with a switch in your heart. Before work evaluation, pressure, and bad things come in, you have to screen first: is it about what I did, or is it about me? If it's the former, then it's all over if you change things, and you can't blame yourself for it. ； If it's the latter, it's because the other person is sick and it has nothing to do with you.

According to the workplace mental health survey released by the American Psychological Association in 2023, 87% of negative emotions in the workplace do not come from the work itself at all, but precisely from this blurred boundary between "things and people": The leader says there is a problem with the logic of your plan, and you directly translate it into "I am not capable"」； If the team KPI is not achieved, you blame yourself for holding it back. ； Even if you are not included in the company's layoff list, you have to worry about whether you are "worthless, so the company is too lazy to lay off people."

There is a popular saying on the Internet now, saying that to maintain mental health, you have to "lie down" and "dare to confront the leader." Many people even regard this as the standard answer. But in fact, judging from the research results of organizational behavior, this method is not useful for everyone: people who have a carefree personality and do not worry about interpersonal consequences will really feel refreshed after confronting the leader. ； But if you have a highly sensitive personality, after you have finished your quarrel, you have to worry repeatedly about whether you will be judged and whether it will affect your subsequent performance, which will increase internal friction. It is not as effective as finding a place where no one is and scolding an empty chair for ten minutes.

Is there any universal solution? I once met a 35-year-old boy who was laid off from a technical job. He stayed at home for three months and didn’t dare to tell his parents. He carried his computer out on time every morning and went to KFC to sit for a day and brush up on recruitment software. He almost developed moderate depression. I didn’t persuade him to find a job quickly, nor did I persuade him to confess to his family, so I asked him to run in the park for half an hour every day. When he was tired, he played two games of chess with the old man who was walking. After a month, he figured it out on his own and took a small salary cut to work as a technical director in a small company that makes industrial software. Last month, he sent me the soy sauce bone he cooked at home on the weekend. He said that now he got off work on time every day and finally had time to raise the ragdoll cat he had been thinking about for several years.

To be honest, the workplace is simply a trading place where you sell your time and skills in exchange for remuneration. There is really no need to tie your entire personal value and your entire life to it. You can stay up late to catch up on projects, or you can shed tears when you feel wronged. You don’t have to insist on saying that you’re fine, and you don’t have to feel like you’re not good enough just because you have negative emotions.

If you really feel like you can't take it anymore, chat with a friend or do something that has nothing to do with work, even if you go to the park for an afternoon and watch an uncle fly a kite, it's not a shame to talk to a professional psychological counselor if you really can't.

After all, you are more important than KPIs, your boss’s evaluation, and your year-end bonus, right?