Anxiety Relief ETF

The so-called "Anxiety Relief ETF" is essentially a set of personal anti-anxiety behavioral asset packages that can be fixed-invested and dynamically adjusted. There is no standardized trading code, no fixed income, and no guarantee of principal or interest. However, as long as you can persist in small-amount, high-frequency "holding" actions, 80% of daily emotional internal consumption can be effectively hedged.

I was reading a hot post on an investment community a while ago, and the poster asked, "Are there any anxiety-relieving ETFs that can really make a profit without losing money?" The bottom line was so noisy that I flipped through two pages: The pragmatists directly dumped the codes of dividend ETFs and gold ETFs, saying "Hold it." That's fine. The fluctuations are so small that you can't remember to check your account, so you won't be anxious. Nihilists just roll their eyes. People who are really anxious, even if they deposit all their money in large certificates of deposit, they will worry about bank interest rate cuts and inflation outperforming interest rates every day. It's useless to buy anything. You see, even for a seemingly universal need such as "anti-anxiety", the thresholds and trigger points of different people can vary greatly. Naturally, there can be no standardized products that apply to everyone. Therefore, the first core rule of this set of "ETFs" is that you can only issue shares to yourself, and you cannot copy other people's positions.

Among the bottom positions I currently hold, the largest proportion is 30% of "meaningless short selling of fixed-income targets" - to put it bluntly, it is a trivial matter that requires no brainer at all and does not need to produce any value. The previous one was "Take a detour after get off work to watch the corgi rolling at the gate of the community for 10 minutes". The cost was 0, but the income was ridiculously stable. No matter how bad the mood was, watching the corgi twist its butt and chase its tail for two rounds would still make it half a minute easier. Recently, Corgi was sent back to his hometown by his owner, so I squatted on the side of the road and watched the old men play chess. Without saying a word, I watched them fight over a chess move with blushing faces. The anger from the fireworks during the day was almost gone. The advantage of this type of indicator is that it fluctuates very little and brings almost no additional burden. The only requirement is not to attach any meaning to it, and don't think about "Is it a waste of time to watch the dog rolling?" If you think so, you might as well not look at it.

I have friends who take the minimalist route, and their entire ETF holdings have only one target: getting enough 8 hours of sleep a day. He said that he used to stay up late every day to catch up on plans, forget about losing his hair, and he didn't like anyone. Later, he forced himself to turn off the lights and lie flat before 11 o'clock, and persisted for three months. He said that now he can sleep first before the sky falls, and other stress relief methods are not as effective as this. I really tried this. I worked on a project for a week last month and slept less than 5 hours a day. Everyone wanted to quarrel. Then I took a break and slept for a full 12 hours. When I woke up, I looked at the bug that I thought the sky was about to collapse. Isn't it just a few lines of code?

Of course, there are also completely opposite activists. Their positions are all high-growth targets that "face the source of anxiety": they are worried about not being able to finish the paper, so they commit to 200 words every day; they are worried about having little savings, so they can earn an extra 50 yuan a day; they are worried about being in poor shape, so they do 10 more push-ups every day. The advantage of this type of target is that it has quick results and hedges against fundamental anxiety. The disadvantage is that it requires high execution ability. If you are too tired to move, forcing yourself to do it will only increase internal friction. It is a high-yield and high-volatility position, so the allocation ratio should not be too high. Some people also think that this method of "breaking down small goals" is purely for self-comfort. If you have this free time, it is better to concentrate on getting things done. This is actually true, but most of the sources of anxiety cannot be solved in a short time - you can't get a promotion and a salary increase tomorrow, and pay off the mortgage the day after tomorrow, right? There has to be a cushion to hold you over until the day the problem is solved.

Don’t just hold on to a set of positions. When it’s time to adjust the positions, you have to adjust them. I put "Learn Japanese for 1 hour a day" into my holdings before. I originally thought that learning something would give me a sense of accomplishment, but I ended up being so exhausted after get off work every day. I had to memorize vocabulary words. If I couldn't memorize them, I would scold myself for being useless. In the end, my anxiety doubled. I quickly cleared the stock and replaced it with "Watching brainless sweet dramas for 10 minutes every day". I felt comfortable instantly. It's just like buying a real ETF. You originally wanted to buy a fixed-income product for stability, but you accidentally bought a highly volatile track base. The price fell so hard that you couldn't sleep. So why not stop the loss and wait?

When the A-share market was at its worst last year, my account lost almost 20%. At that time, I had to check my positions three times every day before going to bed. The more I checked, the more uncomfortable I felt. Later, with the mentality of giving it a try, I added a target of "feeding a cat strip to the stray cats downstairs every day" to my ETF. It cost one yuan each, and the cost was extremely low. After feeding for half a month, Sanhua downstairs would come over to rub my legs when he saw me. Sometimes he would even put the bugs he caught at my feet as gifts. The anxiety caused by the floating account loss was actually wiped away by the cat hair. It sounds illogical, but emotions cannot be smoothed out by logic.

Anyway, I have adjusted the warehouse nearly ten times in the past six months, and recently added a new target: I went to the park to pick up garbage for 10 minutes on weekends. After picking up, I looked at the clean lawn and even breathed smoothly. If you have been troubled by messy things recently, why not build a position in your "Anxiety Relief ETF" now? There is no need to make any complicated configurations, just drink a cup of milk tea that you have been thinking about for a long time, or go downstairs for 5 minutes to enjoy the air.