A collection of sample essays on parenting and children’s health

Don’t be obsessed with standardized data, grasp the core bottom line of safety and development, and respect the dynamic adjustment of children’s individual characteristics. All other methods are correct as long as they are adapted to the status of the family and the child.

The reason why I dare to say this is that I got the solid foundation after going through the pits for 3 years and talking to no less than 10 pediatricians and child psychologists. When I first became a mother, I printed out the online parenting guide and posted it on the refrigerator. When to add complementary foods, when to add minced meat, what time to go to bed and what time to wake up, I strictly followed it every minute. In half a month, the baby cried three times and I collapsed five times. In the end, the child care doctor woke me up with a sentence: "The guide is for your reference, not a shackles for the baby." Take the height and weight that everyone is most anxious about, for example. My best friend’s 3-year-old boy was 2 centimeters shorter than the WHO growth percentile median. She went crazy and gave him calcium and vitamin D supplements. She even added 100 ml of extra milk before bed. Later, I measured It was only after looking at the bone age that I found out that the couple both grew taller during adolescence. The baby's bone age is half a year younger than his actual age, which is completely normal. Now the baby is 6 years old, and his height is already 1 centimeter higher than the median. He has not taken any additional supplements. There is actually nothing right or wrong here. What western medicine cares about for children is the continuous deviation of the growth curve. As long as the trend within half a year is stable, even if it is lower in the range of 3%-97%, there is no problem. ； TCM childcare pays more attention to the transportation and transformation of the spleen and stomach. Some babies eat too much but do not gain weight, have thick tongue coating, and are prone to constipation. Most of them have accumulated food that cannot be digested. Adjusting the diet structure is more effective than supplementing nutrition. The two ideas can be combined. There is no need to stand in line and call the other side "pseudoscience".

Compared with the anxiety of growth data, the various "standard answers" in daily care are the ones that irritate many novice parents. Let’s talk about the “spring cover and autumn freeze” that has been rumored for many years. My baby is born with allergies, and will cause a hyperresponsive cough in the airway when he catches a cold. At first, I followed the old experience and took off his clothes in autumn. As a result, the baby kept coughing for half a month. After I went to the hospital, I found out that the so-called “freeze” is for children with strong metabolism and no underlying diseases. Children who are allergic, weak or have a history of asthma should focus on protecting their neck, back and feet. This general experience cannot be applied at all. There is also a quarrel on the Internet today about "should we give snacks to our children?" One group says that a complete ban can prevent picky eaters and protect teeth, while the other group says that by allowing appropriate restrictions to reduce children's curiosity and avoid retaliatory snacking when they grow up, my own experience after trying it for more than half a year is that at home, I don’t stock up on processed snacks that are high in sugar and salt, but when I take my baby to the supermarket, I allow him to choose what he wants to eat, even if it’s potato chips or lollipops, and just rinse his mouth immediately after eating. Now that his baby is 5 years old, he never rolls around in the snack shop asking for food, and there are no problems with dental caries or picky eating in the physical examination. In fact, there is no absolutely right choice. It just depends on which consequences you are more willing to accept.

Oh, by the way, there is also mental health, which many people tend to ignore, but it is actually tied to physical health. A while ago, a mother came to talk to me. She said that after her child entered kindergarten, she suddenly started biting her nails, which made all ten fingers bleed. She took her to have her trace elements checked and found that everything was missing. After chatting for a long time, she discovered that she usually told her child, "I won't let you go if you don't obey me." This part is more controversial. Some people believe in the "gentle but firm" approach of positive discipline, while others believe that the reward and punishment mechanism of behaviorism is more effective. I never strictly follow a certain group's operating manual. When my child deliberately throws a toy, I will lose my temper and directly tell him "You dropped the toy." I'm very angry, I can't play with this toy again if it breaks." Occasionally expressing emotions is more effective than the "perfect mother" who deliberately suppresses emotions. The baby can perceive the boundaries more clearly. Now he will take the initiative to apologize when he does something wrong, and he is never afraid of me being angry and afraid to speak.

What I have on my phone now is not a parenting guide, but only two things: one is the nighttime emergency phone number of a regular pediatric hospital around the community, the other is a record of the baby’s growth curve from birth to present, as well as the symptoms and medication records of each illness. If I encounter something that I am not sure about, I can directly look through the records or ask the doctor, which is much more useful than swiping through 100 short parenting videos. After all, this so-called "collection of model essays" actually wants to tell everyone that there is no universal model essay. Every baby comes with its own instructions. Squatting down and looking at his needs is much better than copying other people's experience. After all, we are raising living children, not standard products on the assembly line. How can there be any unified qualification standards?