Lilybell There has never been a unified and standardized process for self-healing. The core is to first let go of the obsession of "I must get better quickly" and find a relaxing path that allows you to remove your defenses. There is no need to rigidly follow various methodologies on the Internet.
There are quite a lot of opinions on this matter on the Internet right now. One group says that you must use professional methods, such as mindfulness, emotion writing, and the empty chair technique to achieve effective healing. The other group thinks that healing means making yourself happy and doing whatever you want. In fact, both opinions are correct, but they are applicable to different situations.
I met a girl who was an e-commerce operator two years ago. She was about to undergo a major layoff at the company and she broke up with her boyfriend of five years. I was so panicked at first that I bought a therapy course for hundreds of dollars from a blogger. I forced myself to meditate for 20 minutes in the morning and write a 300-word emotional diary at night. But after less than a week, she collapsed. As soon as I sat down, my mind was filled with images of being interviewed by my boss and my ex breaking up with me. The more I wrote, the more I cried. I couldn't sleep the whole night. Later, she simply dropped out of all classes and deliberately detoured twice after get off work every day to squat in the small park behind her home for half an hour to watch her uncle playing a top and her aunt dancing in the square. She didn’t think about anything and just stared at the buzzing spinning top in a daze. She stayed like this for more than two months. She said that one day she suddenly heard the crisp sound of her uncle playing a top, and she realized that she had not thought about those bad things for a long time, and she just recovered.
Don’t say it’s metaphysics. There is indeed a term for “healing environment” in clinical psychology. To put it bluntly, it allows you to temporarily escape from the scene of “victim” and “loser” identity. You don’t have to force yourself to review or digest your emotions. Even if you squat on the roadside for half an hour watching stray cats fight, or watch the old cartoons you loved watching in childhood three times, as long as you don’t constantly remind yourself “I am healing” when doing this, this thing will be useful to you.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that everyone can get better by just “being in a daze”. If you can’t sleep well for more than two weeks in a row, can’t eat, can’t get excited about the things you liked before, or even can’t control your tears at every turn, don’t force yourself to endure it. A friend who is a developer just felt that he could get through this problem. He persisted for half a year. Finally, he was found to be moderately depressed during a physical examination. Instead, he had to spend more time and energy adjusting. At this time, it is much more useful to seek the intervention of a professional psychological counselor than to speculate on his own.
In fact, to put it bluntly, self-healing is similar to catching a cold and fever. Some people can just drink a cup of hot water and take a nap. Some people need to take some medicine. In severe cases, they need to go to the hospital for injections. No one’s method is absolutely correct. The most important thing is not to regard it as a task that must be completed. You are not chasing KPIs. Take your time and do whatever feels comfortable.
