Beatrice There has never been a unified "standard treatment" for self-healing. It is essentially a process of getting along with your own trauma and emotions. Not to mention that the general methods on the Internet may not be suitable for you. Even if it is a plan given by a consultant, you can just throw it away if you feel uncomfortable using it.
Nowadays, whether in the psychology circle or ordinary practitioners, there is a lot of controversy over the path of self-healing. Most of those who hold the view that "trauma must be faced head-on" are trauma intervention researchers. They believe that using trauma exposure therapy to return to the root of emotions for disassembly and reconstruction can avoid subsequent emotional generalization. After all, if you are bitten by a snake and are too afraid of the well rope to draw water, then you really need to make targeted adjustments. However, there are also many frontline counseling practitioners who feel that if the client's current psychological energy cannot support digging back, insisting to "face it" is equivalent to tearing open the newly scarred wound, which will cause secondary damage. At this time, "letting go" is more important than "resolving", and it is better to live the current life smoothly than anything else.
I have met many people who have tried all the healing methods of Internet celebrities, and they have encountered many more pitfalls than they have found suitable methods. There used to be a little girl who worked on content. After being dismissed by the team the year before last, she didn't dare to submit her resume for half a year. She heard others say that emotional diaries and mindfulness meditation were useful, so she set three alarm clocks every day to force herself to do it. As a result, when she sat down, her mind was filled with images of being held accountable in public, which made her insomnia worse. Later, she simply broke the alarm and went home every afternoon. She set up a stall at the entrance of a nearby middle school to sell handmade hairpins, chatted with the aunt who picked up her children, and bargained with the little girl after school. After three months of playing, one day when she was browsing the recruitment software, she suddenly realized that the label of "poor ability" that others had previously labeled her had been thrown away, and she turned around and got an offer with a higher salary than before.
What kind of professional healing method do you think she has? I neither reviewed the conflicts at the time nor made any cognitive adjustments. To put it bluntly, I just found something that allowed me to easily get positive feedback and replenished the wasted psychological energy. Many people always think that self-healing is very serious. They have to sit down and talk about their feelings, dig up their childhood, and write reviews. In fact, it is not. It is like a small cut on your hand. Some people use iodophor to disinfect it, and some people just put a band-aid on it. Others just heal it without leaving it dry for two days. If you force people who are allergic to iodine to use iodophor, it is not healing, it is causing trouble. I once had a friend who lost more than two million yuan in starting a business and owed a lot of debt. During the period of the collapse, he slapped himself at home every day. His relatives and friends persuaded him to go out and relax. Later, for some reason, he became obsessed with repairing old appliances. Every day in the community, he collected old radios and fans that others did not want, dismantled them, reinstalled them, dismantled them, and repaired them. I gave it to an old man in the community after struggling for almost a year. The last time I saw him, he had already started working on a new project. When he said that he was repairing something, he would think about it. If the part is broken, replace it. If the wire is connected wrong, change the line. There is nothing that cannot be repaired. People are the same. They always hold on to the mistakes they made before, but forget that they can be corrected now.
Of course, this does not mean that professional methods are useless. If you have been stuck in emotions for a long time and cannot eat or sleep well, and your normal work and social activities are affected, then don't force yourself to try blindly. Find a reliable consultant to guide you, which is much more useful than trying to figure it out on your own. It's like having a deep wound and going to the hospital for stitches. You can't cover it with a band-aid at home, right? If we really want to talk about the only criterion for self-healing, it is probably "you feel comfortable and your life is getting smoother". Don't worry about what others say, "you are avoiding problems." Your own feelings are always more important than the so-called correct method.
