Mental health counseling in the workplace

The core of mental health counseling in the workplace is never to force oneself to "think more" or to bear it. Instead, one should first distinguish between "stressful emotions" and "chronic psychological exhaustion", and then choose a matching counseling path based on one's own characteristics and the environment in which one is living. There is no need to force yourself to calm down by using the "positive energy templates" on the Internet, and there is no need to be shy about asking for professional intervention, and there is no need to regard "being able to withstand pressure" as a necessary virtue for people in the workplace.

I have been an HRBP in the Internet industry for 5 years, and I have dealt with no less than 200 employees who have psychological difficulties in the workplace. The most common misunderstanding I have seen is that no matter what emotions you encounter, you will give yourself the chicken soup of "the workplace does not believe in tears", and you will either hold it in until you collapse, or you will find ways to find ways to make it more internal.

Among the current mainstream clinical intervention ideas, supporters of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) will prefer "adjusting cognition and dismantling emotions": For example, if you are criticized by your leader in public, first untie the event from your self-worth, and replace the thought "I can't do anything well" with "The leader can only "I am dissatisfied with the delivery results of this project, and it has nothing to do with my personal ability." This method is particularly useful for sudden stress emotions. When you have just been dumped, you have just received a bad performance review, or you have been notified that you have to work overtime for more than half a month. If you break it down from a different perspective, your emotions will be half stabilized first.

However, there are also many existential counselors who do not agree with this "forced cognitive adjustment" approach. They feel that many negative emotions in the workplace are essentially a conflict between your self-worth ranking and work requirements. Forcing yourself to "adjust your mentality" is a kind of self-depletion. For example, if you are a person who rejects ineffective social interactions, and you insist on brainwashing yourself that "eating with customers is growth," it will only make you more and more painful. It is better to find a way to reject unnecessary social activities and focus the saved energy on things that you care about more. I have seen many technical employees who worked in large factories until they were 35+. They tried mindfulness, meditation, and emotion management classes to no avail. Instead, they set aside one day a week to teach children programming for charity. Their overall condition immediately improved. In essence, they found their own value anchor and no longer relied on recognition from their work to support their emotions.

There is no distinction between these two ideas. It all depends on the problem you encounter: if it is just a temporary emergency, you can solve it by adjusting your cognition. You cannot resign if you are unhappy.； If you haven't been able to sleep well for three or four months in a row and feel nauseous when you think about going to work, don't force yourself to do it. Either change your environment, or find a side job that allows you to gain a sense of value. This is more effective than any emotion management class.

Many companies now have EAP (Employee Assistance Program), but 90% of the employees I have contacted are unwilling to use it. They are afraid that filling out the consultation record will be seen by HR or supervisors, and they will be labeled as having "poor stress tolerance", which will affect their promotion. Here is a little experience from those who have experienced it: When you really need help, it is better to go directly to the clinical psychology department of a local tertiary hospital, or a officially registered psychological counselor. Most of the consultation fees are between 200-800. Although you have to pay for it yourself, your privacy is guaranteed and there is no psychological burden. It is much more cost-effective than buying a bunch of stress-relieving toys worth thousands of dollars and taking useless emotion management classes.

There is still a very controversial topic on the Internet: Should people in the workplace give up their emotions? The two sides were quarreling fiercely, but in fact there was no standard answer at all. I worked with a Douyin operations team leader before. Her style was to show her emotions on her face. She would scold her subordinates when they made mistakes. When she was under pressure, she would tell her superiors directly, "I can't handle this workload." On the contrary, the team's efficiency was extremely high, and no one dared to blame her casually. ； But I also know a friend who works on a project at a traditional car company. If he dares to show his emotions on his face, let alone if the project cannot be pushed forward, he will not be evaluated at the end of the year. Therefore, he always puts his emotions away at work. After get off work, he goes to the boxing gym to punch a punch bag for an hour to vent, and he is quite comfortable. To put it bluntly, the method you use to facilitate communication depends entirely on what your environment allows you to do, and you don’t need to follow someone else’s template.

Last week at the coffee shop downstairs of the company, I met the little operations girl who had been crying at the fire escape during Double Eleven. She had cut her hair short and was carrying a material package for a pottery class. She said she still hadn’t quit her job that often required overtime work, but now she gives herself half a day off every Wednesday to do pottery. “I don’t have any great plans, but I just have something to look forward to so that I won’t feel like I can’t go on when I open my eyes every day.”

You see, there are actually so many high-level counseling methods. To put it bluntly, don’t push yourself into a dead end. You don’t have to be an “emotionally stable adult”. If you really can’t hold it anymore, squat down and cry for a while, touch fish for 10 minutes and watch cat videos, or buy yourself a cup of milk tea that you like to drink. These are all considered counseling. As long as you know that work is just a means of making a living and not the whole of your life, there will be no obstacles that you cannot overcome.