What is the relationship between parenting and children’s health?

Parenting style is essentially the "invisible underlying framework" for children's physical and mental health. From the frequency of daily headaches and fever, to the ability to regulate emotions in adolescence and the risk of chronic diseases in adulthood, almost all are directly or indirectly related to the trivial choices of daily parenting.

I have been working as a child care worker in the community for seven years. What left a deep impression on me was a family I met last year. The grandmother was always afraid of the child being cold, so she had to wear three layers of quilted cotton when the weather was over 20 degrees in late spring. The little boy who had just turned three had a fever at least once a month. Speaking of which, I would like to mention the hotly debated issue of "extensive vs. intensive breeding". Some parents believe that only by raising free-range food and feeding their children everything can they develop an "iron stomach". There is also clinical data showing that appropriately avoiding highly allergenic foods and cleaning tableware before the age of 3 can significantly reduce allergic gastroenteritis and chronic gastroenteritis. In fact, there is no absolute right or wrong in either statement about the probability of sexual urticaria. Children with weak gastrointestinal function inherently need more meticulous care. Appropriate and intensive care for children with strong physiques can also reduce the problem of low immunity caused by over-care. Following the trend and copying the parenting formula of Internet celebrities is the most likely pitfall.

Many parents always equate "health" with having no physical problems. In fact, the emotional feedback model in the parenting process has a far deeper impact on the child's mental state than you think. Last month we collaborated with the community to conduct free children's psychological clinics, and met a little girl in the second grade of primary school. She suffered from stomachache and vomiting before every exam. She went to the hospital three times for gastrointestinal endoscopy, but no organic problems were found. After chatting for half an hour, we found out that her parents always said before each exam, "We have paid so much for you, you can't fail the exam." When she fell, her parents' first reaction was not to care if it hurt, but to scold her for being "so careless." After a long time, her anxiety could not be released, and all turned into physical symptoms. It just so happens that there is a debate on the Internet right now about whether to deliberately set up frustration education for children. One group believes that only by being scolded and frustrated from an early age can one develop a strong heart. The other group believes that a sufficient sense of security is the basis for resistance to frustration. Among the hundreds of cases we have come across, most families that deliberately set up artificial setbacks for their children are more likely to raise children who want to please. Children with typical personalities or those who are extremely rebellious in adolescence are those whose parents are usually willing to deal with negative emotions first. When encountering difficulties, they are more willing to take the initiative to try and make mistakes. Of course, there are also a few children who have an arrogant personality. Appropriate frustration guidance can indeed help them establish a sense of rules. The specific choice depends on the child's own personality traits.

In fact, it sounds simple. Raising a child is like planting a native sapling. You don’t need to follow the maintenance manual of tropical plants, and you don’t need to deliberately train it in drought or flood. Add some warmth when it’s cold, water it when it’s dry, and block it a little when the wind blows. The so-called connection between parenting and health, to put it bluntly, is that every small daily choice you make will eventually become a part of your child’s body or psychology.