What are some self-healing books?

If you are just stuck in the emotional quagmire and can't even calm down while scrolling through your mobile phone, the first thing you can read is "Maybe You Should Find Someone to Talk to". There are no obscure terms, it is the life of psychotherapist Loli and the stories of several of her clients. I had a friend who had just been laid off and broken up with her boyfriend of five years. She lay in bed for three days without even wanting to drink water. She read the clip where Loli was writing about how she squatted on the floor and cried after losing her love. She couldn't even lift the frozen pizza in the refrigerator. She cried while holding the book for almost an hour. After crying, she actually got up and cooked a bowl of noodles. Her chest, which had been blocked for half a month, inexplicably loosened half of her chest.

When your mood becomes a little more stable and you no longer burst into tears at every touch, and you want to understand why you always fall into the same emotional trap - for example, you can't help but please your colleagues and dare not refuse, and your parents' casual words of "you are so useless" can make you sleepless for half a night, then "The Courage to Be Disliked" is actually very suitable. Of course, this book is quite controversial. Many people felt that Adler's theory was too "cold" after turning two pages. To put it bluntly, separation of subjects means not caring about other people's feelings. I felt the same way before, until my mother forced me to quit my job in Beijing and go home to take the civil service exam last year. I tried to follow the book The thinking here: What kind of life I want is my project. She cannot accept that I am not around. It is her project. There is no need for me to give up the career path that I have been saving for three years to take over her mood. This sentence directly cut off most of the internal friction that I had been struggling with for more than half a year. Of course, if you have just experienced extreme trauma such as the death of a loved one or a major accident, don't touch this book yet. The principles are too hard and will be useless to you at this stage.

If you are usually in a stable mood, but you occasionally get into trouble when something happens - for example, you feel worthless when you are scolded by your boss, or you always look through your chat history to blame yourself after breaking up with a friend, you can keep a copy of "Emotional First Aid" at home, just like the iodine band-aids that are always available at home. When small emotions such as rejection, frustration, guilt, and low self-esteem arise, turn to the corresponding chapter and follow the two-step exercise. Most of the time, you can quickly pull yourself out of a dead end. When the project I had been working on for three months was suddenly stopped, I followed the "self-compassion" exercise in the book and kept a diary for three days, so that I didn't fall into the self-denial of "I wish I had worked harder."

Oh, by the way, if you have been suffering from emotional problems for many years, and you always feel inexplicable tightness in your shoulders and neck, and tightness in your chest, and you are never happy even though nothing happened, or you even have unresolved traumatic memories in your childhood, you can try "The Body Never Forgets". Of course, many people said that this book was too depressing to read, and the trauma cases in it seemed so easy to empathize with that they were uncomfortable. If you are just dealing with daily emotional problems, there is absolutely no need to read this book, lest it cause trouble for yourself.

In fact, there is no standard answer when choosing a self-healing book. You don’t have to check in from the book list. If you flip through two pages and think you can read it, even if there is only one sentence that can make your current mood relax, it is the book that is most suitable for you. After all, we read books not to complete some healing KPI, but in the final analysis to make ourselves feel better.